... serious photoshop training.
somebody save me.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Sunday, August 12, 2007
FORGETFUL JONES
this happens all the time.
my boss and i discuss something. i go out and make it happen because we all know bosses can't roll up their sleeves and get down and dirty with work, right? well, except with a whore, maybe.
so, anyway, i go out, i do all things necessary. then what happens when the actual day comes where we have to launch a nationwide contest, a campaign, or a groundbreaking ceremony? he fucking forgets about it. not only that, he schedules some lame ass, useless, toolbox meeting or snot-flicking brainstorming session oh about 25 minutes before whatever important date that was scheduled at least three months ahead, then he gets into that --"what the fuck?! you have something for me today? a what? i have to deliver a speech? where?" -- act... then he leaves you out to dry.
fuck!
the last time this happened, less than a month ago, he told me to cancel the event. he told me to do his dirty work all because his memory's fucked up.
i told him, and this really happened, that if he wanted to cancel it, he'd have to cancel it himself because there were too many involved and too many schedules moved just to accommodate this shit that canceling it without getting my head chopped off would be impossible.
did he cancel? no. did he attend the event? no. i gave the presentation on his behalf, instead. a presentation, which i prepared for almost three full days without sleep. when i got back from th event, he casually asked me, "so, how did it go?"
i gave him the finger. (damn, i wish i could do that!)
my boss and i discuss something. i go out and make it happen because we all know bosses can't roll up their sleeves and get down and dirty with work, right? well, except with a whore, maybe.
so, anyway, i go out, i do all things necessary. then what happens when the actual day comes where we have to launch a nationwide contest, a campaign, or a groundbreaking ceremony? he fucking forgets about it. not only that, he schedules some lame ass, useless, toolbox meeting or snot-flicking brainstorming session oh about 25 minutes before whatever important date that was scheduled at least three months ahead, then he gets into that --"what the fuck?! you have something for me today? a what? i have to deliver a speech? where?" -- act... then he leaves you out to dry.
fuck!
the last time this happened, less than a month ago, he told me to cancel the event. he told me to do his dirty work all because his memory's fucked up.
i told him, and this really happened, that if he wanted to cancel it, he'd have to cancel it himself because there were too many involved and too many schedules moved just to accommodate this shit that canceling it without getting my head chopped off would be impossible.
did he cancel? no. did he attend the event? no. i gave the presentation on his behalf, instead. a presentation, which i prepared for almost three full days without sleep. when i got back from th event, he casually asked me, "so, how did it go?"
i gave him the finger. (damn, i wish i could do that!)
Friday, August 10, 2007
COMMENTS
oh, i almost forgot. i'll be leaving the comments section up for you fuckers. only because i like reading short, stupid sentences, and i get off comments real fast.
so go ahead, have a blast. some guidelines in commenting, though:
1) iF YoU LiKe wRitInG iN rEtArD, LiKe tHiS, tHeN dON't bOtHEr pOsTiNg aT aLL, MoThErFuCkeR!!! - it fucking hurts my eyes and my brains. and why the fuck do you have to write like that in the first place? why? because you like it? well, can i smash your vertebrate with a sledge hammer during your sleep? why? because i like it.
2) comments like: "awww... that's so cute..." are not allowed - there's nothing cute about this blog, bitch! now fuck off.
3) comments like: "look here fucker, you're wrong and i'm right because i'm a better looking guy with a 34-inch waistline" are also not allowed - because everything i say here is right. yeah, i'm a pompous, self-important jackass just like that. and if you don't like what i'm saying, then you can just clench your fist, shove it up your ass, and calmly walk away while humming a norah jones song. that's right, assfister, a norah fucking jones song!
now on with the show...
so go ahead, have a blast. some guidelines in commenting, though:
1) iF YoU LiKe wRitInG iN rEtArD, LiKe tHiS, tHeN dON't bOtHEr pOsTiNg aT aLL, MoThErFuCkeR!!! - it fucking hurts my eyes and my brains. and why the fuck do you have to write like that in the first place? why? because you like it? well, can i smash your vertebrate with a sledge hammer during your sleep? why? because i like it.
2) comments like: "awww... that's so cute..." are not allowed - there's nothing cute about this blog, bitch! now fuck off.
3) comments like: "look here fucker, you're wrong and i'm right because i'm a better looking guy with a 34-inch waistline" are also not allowed - because everything i say here is right. yeah, i'm a pompous, self-important jackass just like that. and if you don't like what i'm saying, then you can just clench your fist, shove it up your ass, and calmly walk away while humming a norah jones song. that's right, assfister, a norah fucking jones song!
now on with the show...
PUNYETA!!!
so i'm back blogging again. for those of you who don't know me, well, fuck you.
i('ve) maintain(ed) about four other blogs in this crowded expanse of the internet. what happened to those blogs? shit, that's easy... work got in the fucking way. so i decided to start another insignificant spec... THE PUNYETA CORP! BLOG.
yes, folks, ladies and gentlemen, children of various shapes, smells, and sizes, retards or not... this blog is all about me and the work that i do and how it slowly sinks every inch of me into boredom and mediocrity.
follow my adventures as i weasel my way out of every responsibility, routine meeting, KRA/ KPI reporting, and audit, while waiting for the perfect opportunity to bolt this hell hole or rant somebody out so i can have a bigger payday. watch my transformation from a seemingly innocent, driven, passionate, team member to an uncreative, unproductive, corporate buzzword-babbling, robotic employee.
welcome to my worklife, asshole.
i('ve) maintain(ed) about four other blogs in this crowded expanse of the internet. what happened to those blogs? shit, that's easy... work got in the fucking way. so i decided to start another insignificant spec... THE PUNYETA CORP! BLOG.
yes, folks, ladies and gentlemen, children of various shapes, smells, and sizes, retards or not... this blog is all about me and the work that i do and how it slowly sinks every inch of me into boredom and mediocrity.
follow my adventures as i weasel my way out of every responsibility, routine meeting, KRA/ KPI reporting, and audit, while waiting for the perfect opportunity to bolt this hell hole or rant somebody out so i can have a bigger payday. watch my transformation from a seemingly innocent, driven, passionate, team member to an uncreative, unproductive, corporate buzzword-babbling, robotic employee.
welcome to my worklife, asshole.
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